Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Perseverate

In a post titled "perseverance", gayLDSactor writes, "I've dedicated years of my life to doing what I've been taught to do, and it hasn't changed my feelings. I don't regret a moment of that." I really respect the sentiment that a lifetime of effort to be obedient is nothing to regret. Contrast that with the sentiment "I've wasted my life" potentially offered by those contemplating leaving the church to find happiness elsewhere. I guess such a comment may reveal a lack of insight into what one wants out of life and what makes life worthwhile. If life is an attempt to maximize rock star sex where planets fall from their orbits, my life has been only modestly successful. But, luckily, I think my view of life isn't quite so shallow. And if life is worthwhile only when "eat, drink, and be merry" is the mantra, the growing experiences like adversity have no value at all.

The funny part about the title "perseverance" is that it reminds me of the word "perseverate" (per-SEV-er-ate) which means to fixate on something. I suppose anyone who has a themed blog on gay issues (or gay Mormon issues!) perseverates to some extent. A lot of effort goes into thinking about one issue of life at the expense of many others. I think I come back over and over because I have a lot to think about and work through for myself. Maybe it won't be all the way worked out before I die. I dunno. But perseverating on this aspect of life alone has got to be a mistake. Granted, sexuality is a big deal, but human intimacy can be expressed in many ways other than sexuality. And a life filled with rich human interactions is never "wasted" even when there's no superstar sex. I can see how perseverating on gay issues may falsely give one the impression that those issues are paramount in defining an identity or gauging the success of one's life, but it's a lie.

So, indulge other aspects of your identity. If you are going to perseverate on something, perseverate on Christ. Or family. Or service.

Also, come back to my blog and comment daily. ;-)

6 comments:

Master Fob said...

Good plan. I'll try. :)

Chris (hurricane) said...

One of the greatest moments for me in my life was when, after I had come out to my wife and begun the process of building a new life and identity, I could look at my nearly 20 years in the LDS Church and my 10 years in my marriage and not feel any regrets for having lived that life. It has been a very good life. Incomplete, but very good.

Change is difficult, but my good life continues.

David said...

If life is an attempt to maximize rock star sex where planets fall from their orbits, my life has been only modestly successful.

Really? I'd like to hear more about that please.

While I agree that there should be balance in everyone's lives I also believe that there should be balance in everyone's lives. : ) Failing to nurture those aspects of yourself that you (or those around you) feel are undesirable will bring only limited.....(happiness is the only word I can think of but it doesn't seem to really fit.)

I'm not sure if I am unique in this, or maybe it is a touch of OCD, but I was never able to compartmentalize my sexuality from the rest of my life. I've said many times that hiding parts of myself and believing the negative things people said about being gay affected EVERY aspect of my existence.

I believe in living life to its fullest, with balance and growth throughout your whole being and along your whole life path. I have no regrets.

-L- said...

Failing to nurture those aspects of yourself that you (or those around you) feel are undesirable will bring...

I'm supposed to nourish the undesirables? Why the hell have I been pulling weeds instead of fertilizing them? I have no doubt that my current course of actions is resulting in limited (what's the word?) gratification, but that's okay with me.

I'll fill you in on the rock star sex sometime. I'll link to my other blog. The one with the soundtrack. The one so frank I have to use a pseudonym for L. :-)

One man's weed is another man's flowers. I'm happy for your happiness, David.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ardent Mormon

Thanks for your thoughts on Perseverating on Christ. I agree with you on it, and I have found that generally my life works better when I do that. Also, thanks for your emails.

jake

David said...

To quote L quoting me:

Failing to nurture those aspects of yourself that you (or those around you) feel are undesirable will bring...

It's all from an individuals perspective. I was addressing the common teaching that being gay is undesirable. If you buy into that teaching then that is your perogative.

Many people don't realize the power of their minds. Ever heard the phrase, "Nobody is born a bigot." Humans learn from other people what is right and what is wrong. Believing in the rights and wrongs of other people isn't the best path in life. I believe people should make up their own minds, not just swallow what they're spoon fed.