People say individuals finally become willing to abstain when the pain of the problem becomes worse than the pain of the solution. Have you come to that point? If you have not and you continue in your addiction, you surely will reach that point because addiction is a progressive problem. Like a degenerative disease, it eats at your ability to function normally.
I thought this quote from the addiction manual was an interesting idea, although I'm not convinced it fully applies in the case of porn. I can imagine cases where it does apply: there are certainly case reports of porn users progressing to increasingly edgy porn to the point they engage in viewing illegal and frankly abhorrent images. I've heard (although I don't remember the specifics) that porn can progress to rape and murder.
However, it was precisely because the pain of the problem was so minimal that I've had a hard time getting started on the 12 steps. I was able to keep the porn on the down low, and without ever being confronted about it by my wife, things were quite comfortable all in all. The problem, of course, is that during this time I was losing opportunities to affirm my heterosexuality and to bond with my wife. I think sex was easier after looking at porn because I was more arousable. How stupid to become reliant on porn to have good sex. Sex should be a warm humanistic activity, not one where your highest highs involve a beige metal box with little blinking lights. It's a frustrating and complex situation for a gay man who wants to be deeply intimate with a woman.