Gay advocates state that homosexuality is inborn and unchangeable. The proposition that a person could change questions the very concept of a gay identity. In addition, recognizing that anyone would want to change is to admit there are those who believe it is wrong and does not make them happy. Gay advocates may go to great lengths to try to disprove anyone who claims to have changed. They may say that such people were never gay in the first place or that they have been brainwashed into believing they have overcome homosexuality and some day will realize they are just supressing their true homosexual nature. It is ironic that gay advocates have no problem believing that a straight man may discover his latent homosexuality, but they cannot tolerate the idea that a man with homosexual desires may discover his heterosexual nature. Jeffrey Satinover also noted, "There will always be people who seek to change but are not successful, even after many years of effort. Understandably perhaps, some of these relapse into a vocally gay-activist posture and become hostile toward the ministries they perceive as having failed, or even deluded, them."
in Resolving Homosexual Problems: A Guide For LDS Men
I am pretty darn gay, and desire to change. So I found this part interesting. Should I attempt to prove for the record that I'm gay? That would be an interesting post... ;-) The truth is, I actually wrote just such a post a while back, but it's still sitting in draft status. Ultimately, I realized I can't produce any evidence sufficient for anyone else. It was actually a pretty amusing post, but it bordered on inappropriate. Maybe I should post it just to string along anyone who can't stomach non-stop pensive philosophical posts. Anyway, people will just have to choose to trust me or not. And, folks, I'm not just gay, I'm WAY gay.
As for change, I'm not entirely persuaded. I'm prepared to live my life without any such change, but it would be nice. If such a change is possible, I'm going to achieve it. And I'm going to continue to ignore the shrill insistence of those who claim to know for certain that it is impossible. I can see how it is important for some people to hold inarguably that it is not possible, but it's a part of my newly affirmed assertiveness that I will not assuage their subconscious apprehensions by conceding what they want to hear. We'll see. Or at least, I will.
3 comments:
I don't believe it is possible or desirable to change one's sexual orientation. I'm convinced that if I were to lose my homosexual orientation, I would lose some vital part of my being that finds expression not just in a physical attraction to men, but in my personality, my persona and the way I interact with other people. It is, in other words, a vital part of what makes hurricane hurricane.
That said, I don't think it much matters if homosexuals are born or made. And if someone wants to change their orientation to fit more comfortable with their reality, I am not one to argue with that choice. I'm a fellow traveler, but each of us takes a journey that is unique.
And, folks, I'm not just gay, I'm WAY gay.
You can't be any gayer than me!
Call me a big perv, but I for one would be interested in hearing the proof of just how gay you are. ;-)
I really appreciate all your quotes and have enjoyed your sharing them and discussing them. They've helped me to ponder my situation. I'm sitting here trying to figure out for the first time the reality that I REALLY AM GAY. I am seeking some kind of validation, because I really don't know for sure.
So how sure are you? What does it mean when you say "I'm not just gay, I'm WAY gay."? Isn't your being "WAY gay" unchangeable and the only thing that you or I can really change is how we choose to live our lives? Our free agency is always there for us to exercise. The "WAY gay" part, neither for good or bad, doesn't go away. Whether we are born this way or not doesn't matter to me either. I'm more interested in how to deal with the choices that are before me. Will they be good choices?
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