I'm not cut out for blogging. I get too into it, don't know when to stop, and then I feel like I have a "stake" in other people's lives. I consciously recognize that I don't, but after just a couple weeks, I've already become way too involved emotionally. I've been worrying about a blog friend all day today. And I've never even met him! I actually lost sleep a few nights ago because I was worrying about offending a couple people who had posted comments--and I NEVER lose sleep. Usually, I can fall asleep in 3.1 seconds at will! And I feel like my comments scattered around have become increasingly cranky.
It's nice to know that the reason for this is that I care about people. Yes, I'm patting myself on the back right now in a pathetic show of self-congratulations. But I recognize what's going on because I've felt this way before.
One other time I've felt this way was when I started being an activist on a particular health-related topic. I felt so strongly about it that it compelled me to put lots of time and effort into the cause. I went to D.C. and lobbied. I wrote in the newspaper. Hey, I was even on a panel on TV. And then when the outcome wasn't what I wanted, I felt depressed. How could the world not see things my way?
In the gay Mormon blog world, I get disappointed when I think people are looking at something the wrong way, or when they make a decision for themselves that I think is a big mistake. But I'm reluctant to say much--because it's not my place. But I care anyway. And so I've gotta take a break.
Anyway, life outside the blog is happier. Tomorrow I go on a business-ish trip. And I like those. Especially when they're paid for by someone else. And I stay at a super-nice hotel. And the family comes along. And we eat stuff we would never ever pay for out of our pockets because we're complete cheapskates. I can't wait. What this means for the blog is that--and listen carefully--nobody is allowed to say anything interesting while I'm gone. Hear that, internet? Just stop what you're doing and come back in a week.
I have so much I want to say on the blog--things about sacrifice and faith and my son and why hedonism is really not the best way to go from my experience, but I don't have time. And I probably won't have time for a good while. After I get back from said trip, I'll be in one of the most time-intensive rotations of med school.
So, for now, let me just say, thanks for reading my blog over the last two weeks, and if I never make it back, do what I would do. ;-)