But one of the reasons it was so powerful for me was probably unique. I see it as a metaphor for myself and my situation as a gay Mormon. Specifically, Ennis made it clear that it wasn't "gonna be that way" with his lover. He recognized that the harsh realities of society would make it impossible to live a happy life in an overtly gay situation. It wasn't that it wasn't something he wanted, it was just a plain impossibility to carry out without dire consequences. He saw what happened to gay men when they were found out. And found out they would be if they shacked up together as ranch partners. And he was right.
So, me and gay love. It's just not gonna be that way. I want it. I want it badly. But the reality of my life and my faith makes it an impossible thing. Granting the tenets of the Mormon faith, accepting a gay lifestyle would be a deathwish. It would be a beautiful and happy thing, but would end in spiritual death.
I really was touched by this movie. There's so much hate and intolerance and it deserved to be given a healthy dose of media attention. And luckily for me, the anguish I saw in the movie when they couldn't be together (and felt second hand!), is greater than the anguish I feel right now. Although that anguish is real, I'm trying to believe that it's a happy sacrifice--one that will keep my lover alive if unhappy (no, wait... uh... one that will keep me with an eternal family). :-)
In honor of the oscars. Sorry BBM, you were my first choice!