Thursday, November 09, 2006

Heart failure

Little old ladies who are dying like to flirt with me. And how do you turn that down? "Oh, well, that's a fascinating story, but I have to scamper off and see the next patient if I don't want to be in this hospital for every waking moment of my life... I'm sure you'll have some actual family member along soon to comfort you. Bye now!"

One little old lady I currently take care of is dying of heart failure--an ironic malady for a woman so pleased with her young male physician. Heart failure is when the body fluids get backed up and end up filling up the tissues and lungs rather than staying put in the veins. You can't breath and/or you're swollen all over, and you're excessively thirsty despite the fact that you've been packing on more and more fluid. All that fluid can't do you any good because your heart isn't strong enough to pump it, and eventually you drown as you're dying of thirst.

As I chatted this morning with this sweet lady, feeling the pressure to move on to the next patient, I thought about my own heart failure
And in that day shall be heard of wars and rumors of wars, and the whole earth
shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them, and they shall say that
Christ delayeth his coming until the end of the earth. (D&C 45:26)

Elections and wars and terrorism and really mean people make me tired. The other day I wandered through the circuit of anti-Mormon blogs and just found so much bitterness and hatred that it literally made me cry. Granted, being 4:00 AM in the middle of a frustrating call night might have had something to do with it! I get emotionally overwhelmed these days. I need to rely more on Christ, but I just don't do it. I'm like that patient who knows the lasix will alleviate the symptoms, but can't be bothered to fill the prescription and take it.

Well, I'm going to do it. I'm going to read the scriptures and feel better.

6 comments:

Enduring said...

Did you read the scriptures and did it make you feel better? I carry mine with me everywhere I go now and have for the past year. They sit next to me in the car, on my desk at work and so on... Whenever I start to feel down or my thoughts wander, I open them up and start reading. Sometimes I read for 5 minutes, other times I realize I have been reading for 2 hours. It really does help. I hope it helped you.

Samantha said...

Do it every day...

I know, I'm such a seminary teacher...

Also, I see nothing wrong with old ladies flirting, and neither, apparently, do any of the people I flirt with.

FoxyJ said...

I almost feel bad admitting it, because I'm sensitive to the stereotype of the ditzy woman, but there are a lot of days where I don't care about the issues. The news makes me tired and I don't want to have an opinion any more. I like serious thought and serious discussion, but I also get tired of nastiness and contention really easily. So I can see where you're coming from. (I also realized that a lot of my tiredness with contention comes from the fact that I spend all day with little people who don't give me much positive feedback at all. That's probably similar to your job--people are tired and sick and not able to express much gratefulness).

I've also realized lately that I've got to get back in the habit of reading my scriptures. I used to be really good at it, but I've lapsed over the last year or two. Maybe it makes all the difference.

Rebecca said...

Hm, I hope you're not counting mine as an anti-mormon blog. Although, if you are, that's certainly your right. Or privilege. Or whatever.

Someone has GOT to come up with a better system for the hours physicians work! *as I sit here not doing anything about it*

-L- said...

Rebecca, you are totally not the one I had in mind. I have no problem with people who dislike or disagree with the church. I just get bothered when they're so cranky about it. I'm also bothered when church members get cranky unnecessarily and spout haterade (to borrow a clever term I heard once).

Rebecca said...

Agreed - on both points. And, sadly, I must admit that I did NOT invent the term "haterade." I actually first saw it on a discussion board on LDSLinkup (kind of like MySpace, but for Mormons, in case you don't know) - before I left the church. I've always remembered it because it's fun to say.