Friday, July 13, 2007

Cranky

Things are pretty good for me these days, and I love my job. My family is doing so well, too, that I keep being tempted to post photos of how great they are.

Unfortunately, though, my recent travels online have really bummed me out. For one thing, I get irritated by national news outlets with some regularity. The bias is not something I notice most of the time, but lately it seems like everything is slanted and ridiculous. Michael Moore irritates me for taking a completely important topic and presenting it as sneaky half-truth that will leave some doubting the issue is even worth consideration and others over-stating the facts. But I suppose such disingenuous presentation of the issues isn't limited to the big boys.

I've been offended by things lately that shouldn't really offend me. I think it's because I have less tolerance when people should really know better. It's like I can give large leeway to someone I know virtually nothing about, but I can't help but get emotionally volatile in response to someone who I know has had all the advantages and opportunities for insight but ends up solid in their determination to be a closed-minded bigot (exalted in their self-importance and moral superiority, of course).

I'm also bummed about Northern Lights recently. While I think it's doing fine overall, the little things agitate me. They're all subtle, and so it's hard to pin them down, but I get the sense that it's viewed as "the establishment" rather than what it is: a collection of people talking about stuff in a protected/uplifting way. You know, like every other blog, just with some rules.

Could be I get bogged down by the little things because of my own struggles. The constant ebb and flow of feeling elated and set back never seems to stop. So, this could just be low tide.

Throw on top of all that that I feel lonely sometimes... despite having a lot of great friends. I guess it's just having people who you thought were your friend end up not caring for you in the least that ends up being hard. It doesn't matter that there are really nice folks willing to be there for me at any time I need, I still find rejection by others to be a big fat downer. I suppose that's life.

And now that I've made my blog into an adolescent journal, I'm done for now. :-)

9 comments:

Kengo Biddles said...

YAY! Adolescent blogging! It's okay, -L-, you're playing my tune. :)

*ehugs*

Stephalumpagus said...

Wow your blog really IS going down the tube. I don't think I can read it anymore.

Jk. I think it would take a lot more than some adolescent whining for you to lose readers.

Mr. Fob said...

Sorry you're feeling down.

As for Northern Lights, I think it's doing well. It's providing a voice for a group of people that have not traditionally had much of a voice and in this past week it's gotten some more exposure from the general LDS blogging crowd. My family members, for example, have commented that they browsed around a bit after reading FoxyJ's post, and I imagine that many of the people who clicked on over from Times & Seasons did the same.

I agree that people are viewing it as the establishment. That's because of a few reasons: it looks official; it does try hard to represent the views of the establishment insofar as the LDS Church is the establishment; and a lot of people want it to be the establishment because they need an establishment who speaks to the issues NL addresses. And when it comes down to it, what is any establishment but "a collection of people talking about stuff... with some rules"? NL is the closest thing to an establishment the faithful MoHo blogging world has; fighting the role won't do any good, so you might as well accept it and run with it.

Chedner said...

I've been rather cranky lately, myself -- for a lot of the same reasons. My biggest frustration, though, is with the Church (how the leaders aren't creating the establishment needed -- and how they are the only ones who can truly create this establishment).

Don't get me wrong; I think the leaders are trying to help with all their sincerity... but, I don't think they quite grasp the concept yet.

Marmoreal said...

hey -L-, we all need an adolescent outlet from time to time. and don't you fret over Northern Lights - it's just a baby yet. heck the word(?) Moho has been around much longer and there are still trickling debates over the supposed meaning and the appropriateness/usefulness or lack thereof of the terms role. and that's just 4 little letters. now we got a whole freakin' site to use and discuss. given societal history, the birth of the site itself is nothing short of a tiny miracle. give it some time to grow and mature and I'm sure NL will become the fine, upstanding citizen of the blogosphere that you hope it to be. chin up, man - high tide will return soon enough.

Gimple said...

As you well know, I have problems with rejection also. I feel your pain and I know the loneliness. You once told me that some people have big hearts and need a lot of friends to feel complete and full. I think that is you. You also told me that when someone we thought was our good friend and then rejects those type of people, it hurts real bad. I agree that this is you too.

-L-, you always have a friend in me. You are someone I look up to with the greatest respect. You may not know this, but your influence has helped me out a lot. I know these words probably don't help a lot, but I just want to let you know that you are loved by me. If I knew where you lived and were close to you, I would come and give you a great big hug from the "hug master." You're great and don't forget it!

-L- said...

Stephalumpagus, most of my readers are long gone. Try having a post a week for a couple months--they evaporate. :-) It reminds me that I blog mainly for my own amusement, not the hoards of fans.

Mr. Fob, thanks for that. I appreciate the encouragement. You may be right that it is the establishment in some ways, but people are never friendly toward the establishment (even though it's still made up of people who might be sensitive). I'd just like the same friendliness and accommodation for mistakes that any other blog is given. Probably asking too much. :-) I'm okay with it though.

Chednar, have a look at my NL post today.

Marmoreal and Gimple, you guys are just plain nice and I really appreciate it. Thanks.

Mr. Fob said...

I can't speak for everyone, but I know I don't discriminate between Establishment blogs and Regular Joe blogs. I am neither friendly nor accommodating for mistakes in either case. I will accept nothing less than perfection!


(And I don't know if you're referring to something else or just the Michael Glatze thing, but if you are referring to the latter, I think you should let Tito fight his own battles and not take criticism of his posts personally. Still, though, I'm sorry for my contribution to your bummedness.)

-L- said...

My policy is take everything personally whether or not it's directed at me or I'm responsible. It's clearly how I ended up gay.

And, more seriously, it wasn't just the Glatze thing, it's just been my gut feeling from the whole experience that there is a difference in people's approach/charity level. But, like I said, I'm okay with it now.