It's been a year since I first cracked my knuckles and hammered out a self-conscious, slightly ridiculous post. There have been over 200 since then, and things for me have (appropriately enough) changed.
I've used this blog as a kind of narrative therapy: not a therapeutic intervention that has been measured for this purpose ever before (to my knowledge), but an amazingly effective one from my experience nonetheless. My counseling visits were a good start, and I still endorse counseling, but this has given me a much more thorough method with which to explore my ideas, receive feedback, and deliberately shake down my issues. And I have the permanent records of the journey rather than someone whose relationship with me will be temporary. I've thought all along that if I force myself to read relevant books and really think about what they say, I might be getting better therapy than if I were sitting in an office rehearsing my life details to someone who doesn't know me. I'm ultimately in favor of a combo approach for now--counseling and blogging.
However, I can't unreservedly recommend blogging as narrative therapy because there are certain risks involved. I've been subjected to some harassment, minor really, and a smidgen of humiliation and misunderstanding now and then. It's a risk, I suppose, exposing one's thoughts to public scrutiny where all manner of anonymous nay-sayers get a full opportunity to scoff and scurry away.
The other risk I've noticed is less applicable to me (since I'm remotely located and anonymous), but ought to be mentioned just the same. While I've made many friends online (some of whom have become more conventional friends over time), I've also heard of folks who have gotten into trouble with other bloggers. I suppose there's something to be said for the value of choosing good influences online and being cautiously judicious just as we should elsewhere.
But overall the enterprise has been a successful one, I think. If a year is measured in love, it has been a red letter year for me. Past that, this blog has been themed with change. So, I suppose I ought to give an accounting of where I've been and where I want to go. I'm more knowledgeable, sensitive, and self-aware than I was a year ago. I'm more faithful too, somewhat surprisingly.
This year I need to continue some of the projects I've started--like the 12 step program posts and book club. Oh, and I should probably go back and label all those old posts from before the new blogger! Finally, I probably need to economize a bit in terms of how I spend my online time, so I apologize if I comment less.
Anyway, here's to my one year blogiversary and positive change!