Bill Clinton's biography includes his acknowledgment that he began to question his religious roots because he couldn't understand how a loving God could allow so much suffering and pain in the world. I don't remember exactly how he put it, but it was another iteration of the problem of pain discussed in theology and philosophy classes around the globe. It's a problem I appreciate.
If God wants us to be happy, and he most assuredly does, then why does he "make" us in a manner that we desire something forbidden to be happy? For some, the reductio ad absurdum argument ends there and the conclusion is not that happiness doesn't lie with the forbidden thing after all, but that he in fact doesn't forbid it. It's the more pleasant way to resolve the issue. Is it a fallacy? I hope you won't be offended by my offering my opinion that it is.
God doesn't take suffering lightly. He makes it clear throughout scripture that whatever else we do, if we fail to help the suffering, we are in big trouble. But, at the same time, he doesn't keep even the best from suffering. Christ, of course, suffered more than anyone. Job suffered immensely, and the list of martyrs is long. People suffer all the time, and God not only puts up with it, but seems to let it happen to the best. And, it even seems to me that God Himself suffers because of His children's poor choices. This makes me think that presence or absence of suffering isn't a big component in the happiness I'm looking for in life. Maybe it's only the presence or absence of suffering in those around me that counts. I dunno. Maybe there's something distinctive about different kinds of suffering.
Long ago I was told that the key to success is the endurance of pain. I've thought on that quite a bit and realized that subjecting oneself to certain kinds of "suffering" does indeed foster success, discipline, sacrifice, self-control and many other virtues. It's the purported antithesis to happiness that brings the most success and consequently more happiness. Where in all this does embracing gay love or gay sex lie? Does abstaining count as virtuous suffering that will make me stronger? Or does it count as frank unhappiness on the surface?