Fathers Day

Fathers Day is one I've never paid much attention to. I've only been a father for a relatively short time, and the holiday never seems to have as obvious of celebratory possibilities as others. So, it didn't hurt my feelings that I was scheduled to work on Fathers Day shortly after church was to end.

The lesson in Sunday School focused largely on service--how we can make it a more meaningful part of our lives, do it more, etc. I thought a bit about medicine and how enamored I've been with the idea of getting paid to do something so interesting all while thinking about it as "serving." It's a healing art, and that just seems cool. But, in the practice, sometimes the comforts and real basic needs of the patients get swallowed up in the establishment's regulations and standards of care: you have to be certain this antibiotic is given within this amount of time, you must wait until the nurse has completed the triage sheet, you must have this paperwork before giving this treatment. It ends up feeling a lot less like service and a lot more like an assembly line.

But every once in a while you get a patient like Judy.

Judy was my first patient on Fathers Day. She had fallen several times that day, but still didn't want to come in for evaluation. For several days she had been unable to walk steadily, a cancer patient of several years with so much pain that she would rather just curl up and lie on the floor than try to move for... well, anything. She was so nauseated she didn't want to turn over to look at me when I came in the room. Unfortunately, the nurses had been forced to cut off her hair because the caked vomit made it so tangled it couldn't be washed. Her skin was irritated from feces and infections secondary to poor hygiene.

"Just leave me alone, okay?" With the pressures of twenty or more patients in the waiting room thinking their concern is the most important in their life, sometimes it's hard to slow down to extend some reassurance to someone who isn't likely to accept it. But there are certain situations where the raw emotional nature forces you to slow down and think about what's really going on, what's important in life, and what you really must do.

When I see my little boy playing and learning, sometimes I get this feeling of desperation that he's too good for the world. I worry that once he's old enough to go to school or the playground or elsewhere, there will be bullies and obnoxious teachers and... people who don't care about him as I do.

I wonder what Father in Heaven thinks about his children going off to Earth where there are bullies and mean people. Or just cancer, debilitation, and social injustices. I assume he hopes, as I do, that someone will step in and watch over his dear ones. "We'll leave you alone if you want Judy, but we can help make you feel better. We can help you. It's okay, Judy."

I have a habit of getting so wrapped up in my own life, my own struggles, my own desires, that I forget that the road to happiness is to forget myself and follow Christ's example to minister to others. I was grateful for that reminder on Fathers Day.

-L- is a busy boy

People occasionally note that a doctor in residency with two small children must have a hard time finding the time to blog as much as I do.

They are right.

Which is why things have caught up to me and I'll be relatively quiet for certain stints. But, I'm still here, just so you know. And feel free to read my latest on NL.

Compliments of the QoQ

The QoQ recently noted this music from my favorite group, Barenaked Ladies. I'm not sure how to ditch the crazy video, so here it is in all its puzzling glory.

Awesome.

Recap

After a zillion comments, I was left agreeing with Mohomie's comment in which he said essentially, "Umm... what's going on?"

So, part of my own confusion stems from my scatter-brained original post. I mentioned the youth pamphlet, but in my mind (and post) I extend the need for order and clear expectations to a larger group than that.

On the other hand, I've since looked through the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet, and I think it already does outline some pretty clear expectations. And adults' standards of behavior aren't really different, per se, just the circumstances. And I certainly don't want to be perceived as criticizing the brethren or official church publications in talking about this stuff, because I most certainly don't think that would be appropriate.

Here's the section in the pamphlet about sexual purity:

“The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.

When you obey God’s commandment to be sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of a loving family. You protect yourself from the emotional damage that always comes from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage.

Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Satan may tempt you to rationalize that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable when two people are in love. That is not true. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious because they defile the power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5).

Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.

In cultures where dating or courting is acceptable, always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings.

Homosexual activity is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.

Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop’s counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing.

If you are tempted to commit sexual transgressions, seek help from your parents, your bishop, and friends you can trust. Pray to the Lord, who will help you resist temptation and overcome inappropriate thoughts and feelings.

If you have committed sexual transgressions, begin the process of repentance now so you can find inner peace and have the full companionship of the Spirit. Seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Talk with your bishop. He will help you obtain the forgiveness available to those who truly repent.

There's nothing there that's not applicable, in my mind. And if I were to tailor it specifically to a gay youth, I would only adjust a few minor things. Maybe it would say something like this:

“The sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”).

Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage [with someone of the opposite gender].

When you obey God’s commandment to be sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple [still true for gays...even if the marriage covenants may be delayed until after this life]. You prepare yourself to build a strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of a loving family. You protect yourself from the emotional damage that always comes from sharing physical intimacies with someone outside of marriage.

Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Satan may tempt you to rationalize that [gay] sexual intimacy is acceptable when two people are in love. That is not true. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious because they defile the power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5).

Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. [Do not rationalize that such emotions can have no expression otherwise.] Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body.

In cultures where dating or courting is acceptable, always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. [Do not rule out dating merely because you are not sexually attracted to a person. This might be a good area for further discussion and information.] Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings.

Homosexual activity is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction, [you should start a blog and notify the guy at ardentmormon.blogspot.com. Also...] seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.

Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin. If you have been a victim of any of these crimes, know that you are innocent and that God loves you. Seek your bishop’s counsel immediately so he can help guide you through the process of emotional healing.

[Those who experience unchosen feelings and sexual attractions are also not guilty of sin. However, such feelings may challenge you throughout your life. Finding a way to properly deal with various challenges is an important part of every person's mortal life.]

If you are tempted to commit sexual transgressions, seek help from your parents, your bishop, and friends you can trust. Pray to the Lord, who will help you resist temptation and overcome inappropriate thoughts and feelings.

If you have committed sexual transgressions, begin the process of repentance now so you can find inner peace and have the full companionship of the Spirit. Seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Talk with your bishop. He will help you obtain the forgiveness available to those who truly repent.

So, what do you think?